Presenting

I was recently tasked with a short presentation at my workplace. The deal would be informing three groups, in succession, on a topic that I am the most well-versed in of those in our office. I would not, yet, call myself well-versed in the topic, because we are early in the stages of this particular project. But I believe I will get there, and I did feel confident that I could do this task. 

And yet. 

I don't like presenting in groups, even small ones. It's not something that I seek out or particularly enjoy. I've done it enough by this point in my life that I am accustomed to doing it, and I can do it. I even consider that I can do it at a minimum level of competence. But it's still a bit of a stress, and an unknown. 

So I was glad to be able to fall asleep the night before without any issues. I had prepared remarks, and a handout, and I was as ready as I was going to be. And it ended up going just fine. It was strange to have to turn my head to establish eye contact with each audience member. The room was a little loud, because there were three other groups doing the same thing (some of them quite a bit louder than others). But I managed to get through the whole thing without swearing, and I rolled with the questions that I got, and took notes when points were brought up that I didn't know the answer to so I could follow up. 

I was surprised by the quality of questions that I got; I might have to volunteer myself to do this more often so I can get ideas from all around the office instead of just in my subsection. And I was pleased that I didn't have any nervous blushes strike. I managed to keep my emotional investment casual and I'm happy at that. 

I wonder if the months of conducting business over Zoom has influenced how I feel about presenting. It seems like Zoom is more like presenting than conversing, so you have to always be ready to be the center of attention. One person at a time. And the other piece is that I have practiced "presenting" on Zoom so much in the last 14 months. I've become inured to the whole process. Vaccinated, one might say. 

Applesauce

I've been using applesauce as a part of my low fiber diet for a while now. They've supplanted bananas as my go-to fruit. I can eat fresh apples, but only if I peel them, which is more of an investment than I usually want to make to eat a single apple. 

But when I visited my brother, he offered me a revelation! 

I can make my own applesauce. He demonstrated for me (twice) while I was there, and that applesauce was the most delicious I could remember eating. I was inspired to make my own once I got home. 

That inspiration was a bit delayed by my being sick upon arriving home, but when Ambrose and I made it out to Old Fashioned Fruit & Veg, I picked up 4 apples (2 gala and 2 cosmic crisp). While my brother, who is a chef (executive chef, technically), peeled his apples with a knife, I went with the veg peeler. It worked for my needs (and allowed me to peel while sitting on the couch instead of standing at the counter). 

When I was young, we had some family friends who would put on an apple themed fundraiser every fall, and one of the games was trying to peel an entire apple without the strip breaking. I was horrible at it. But Ambrose finally got the proper method to stick in my brain, and I'm getting much closer to peeling a whole apple in one strip. 

So, you peel the apples, chop them up, put them in a pot and start cooking at medium-ish heat. Salt is optional, sugar (if you're crazy because apples are so sweet naturally), cinnamon... I've been thinking about getting some ginger and letting it cook with the apples. Once the apples are cooked, let them cool a bit and then into the blender! I read online that one can also use a potato smasher, but I like the blender better for applesauce. You can choose your texture that way. 

My first batch was a bit on the sweet side, and ran out too soon, so for batch 2 I went with 6 apples (2 cosmic crisp, 2 honey crisp, 2 granny smith). From this batch, I've learned that a little granny smith goes a long way, and I need to be a little less heavy handed with the cinnamon. It's delicious, and tastes like apple pie filling, but I want it to be a little less pie-like. 

So... I'm having a lot of fun so far experimenting with my applesauce stylings, and I plan to continue. 

Batch 1

Oh, Cats

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I wanted to get a dog. By this point, I'd had a pet rat. And I think my brother and I briefly had a goldfish. But I wanted an animal who would be a companion. A pet to pet and cuddle with. A dog!

My dad offered a compromise. We could get a cat. 

I didn't see this as a good deal, but I agreed. We got ourselves a cat. 

And we discovered that I am allergic to cats. Very allergic. Living with a cat gave me exercise induced asthma, and I would also get an asthma attack whenever I cleaned the litter box. Since our original deal had been that I would need to clean the litter box or we would send the cat back, I told my dad that we had to send the cat back, because I could not clean out the litter box. 

My goal was to send the cat back so I could regain my ability to breathe without huffing an inhaler. 

I was thwarted, because my dad had already fallen in love with the cat. And Topaz was not a nice kitty either. He showed affection my making you bleed. 

So I've avoided cats for most of my adult life, much to the chagrin of my friends who own cats. But when I went to visit my family recently, I was on allergy meds and decided to see how it went. Both my brother's cat and my dad's current cat acted like I smelled like fish and basically just demanded my attention and affection. 

And I went with the flow, and I petted the cats, especially my dad's cat, Coco. It's maybe a little silly, but she was my mom's cat, too, and I felt like I was coming to peace with her death when Coco would hop up on my lap and literally snuggle up on me. Such a lovey kitty!

I pet those cats, and I played with those cats. It was fine! I got a little bit of a cough, but no symptoms otherwise. Until I got home. 

The day after I got home, I was punished for my brief kitty lifestyle with a sinus infection that I am only starting to get over now I've been home for over a week. 

I think, next time, I might bring nasal saline flush with me. Perhaps if I give my sinuses a nice bath every day, they won't get stuffed with cat dander and decide to pick up an infection on the flight home. 

Because there will be a next time. Sinus infections suck, and I won't risk them by owning a cat of my own. But I have friends and family with cats, and I'd like to figure out how to visit them without asking that the cats be locked away or threatening said cats with water should they approach me. 

Coco on my lap.

Yasha on my lap.

Endo?

I am absolutely terrified to try and push for a diagnosis of endometriosis. Because the only way to diagnose that disorder is via surgery, which is both expensive and physically risky. But more than that, after doing multiple procedures to rule out a gastro issue, I'm scared to do something else that will result in the doctors, once again, giving me that look and telling me there's nothing wrong with me. 

In theory, an endometriosis test that isn't surgery may be coming soon. But it's been coming soon for years now, and I don't want to wait and keep trying to treat IBS when that might not be the issue that actually needs treating. 

I've been hesitant to try the food tolerance tests that I see advertised, because the research I've done on them indicates that they are no better than guessing when it comes to determining which foods to eat and which to avoid. But I recently made a connection with a doctor who has an MD and it a naturopath, so I'm going to try one more time to pin down a digestive issue. 

At least that way I'll be doing something. 

And who knows? Maybe there is something going on that can be addressed via vitamins or eliminating specific foods. IBS is a differential diagnosis, after all. That means that the symptoms fit IBS, and there are no diagnostic indicators for anything else. But it could be something else, and that bugs me.